This is beautifully written and resonates with me a lot!! I've had a similar experience of finding who my 'people' are: whether that's a character, an aesthetic, or even people in my life. But I've similarly realised I don't need to fit into a specific box like that. That being said, I grew up idolising Padme from star wars, and I've always been obsessed with her vibe!
it is so liberating to come into a feeling of selfhood. i feel like i looked obsessively for a box to fit into before realizing how much fun it is to create my own identity, taking bits and pieces of what i like. as for my thing right now, i’m really into gold!! 🤩
Current esthetic obsession is disco balls and rainbow-making-prisms in every window so that all day long I am surrounded by twinkling magic. Because why not?
Love this really. That restless pull to belong, to understand myself, is such a familiar tension. (And the lit student buried in me can’t help but giggle at every little nod you make to the theorists. 🤭)
Love this - identity is a fundamental part of the human condition and your explorations reflect the immense challenges we’ve set ourselves as a society.
This is so real bc I spent so much of my life trying to be an aesthetic and I felt so much better when I stopped trying to put myself in a box. Like getting up and wondering 'is this outfit goth enough' is so exhausting.
It feels as though nobody is allowed to have a personality anymore, an actual personality, where you like 100 things and don't fit into neat little boxes. My Pinterest page probably wouldn't look 'cute' or 'aesthetic' to anyone else, my bedroom doesn't have a particular colour scheme, and my clothes don't really 'give' anything.
I feel this article in my soul, but I'm also secretly so jealous of people who have it all figured out, who know exactly who they are and what kind of life they fit into.
i feel that we are more than just one character, one type of aesthetic, one characteristic. we are more complex than that. for example, i have always seen myself as megara from hercules and admire the aesthetic that movie gives off. on the other hand, i see myself as a james bond classic type of woman. i also see myself as blair waldorf from gossip girl and resonate with the aesthetic of that tv show. we were not made to be just one thing. great article! :)
i can’t believe i’m being quoted in an essay i am so overwhelmed with emotions… loved this. discovering that you don’t need to align with any aesthetic, and embracing being you dynamically and openly is so freeing.
It feels like the act of questioning is actually part of who you are!! That constant self-awareness is a core aspect of your personality. What a beautiful thing to grow with.
I don’t even know when this weird obsession with putting human personalities into boxes started. Or the whole “starter pack” thing. We can be so many things, sometimes all at once, sometimes at different times, and that’s totally okay.
I used to get so frustrated because I liked bits and pieces from different aesthetics, and I never knew which one I belonged to. But screw that, I can be just ME!
As for the characters I identified with? There was Clover from Totally Spies 🥹. I’m not even blonde, lol, but I definitely had that sassy, girly, boy-obsessed personality when I was little 😂. Then it shifted; Elizabeth Bennet and Belle that when I got into literature. Honestly, there were so many, and they were all so different, I can’t even remember them all. And that’s fine.
Thank you for reading it <33 and omg the power of being "me" makes me feel alive😭 I love your choice of characters they all align somehow together!! <3333
I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes, I'm Frank Reynolds from Always Sunny, other times I'm Bruce Willis in Die Hard. Sometimes BMO, sometimes Joey Ramone, sometimes April Ludgate.
I never know who I am. Or rather, who I am changes depending on the weather and how much sleep I've gotten recently.
As for characters, like you, I've never identified with any of them, no matter how much I wanted to. I've never been able to say "That's me," but rather "I want to be her/him."
As for clothes, I've always liked "dark academia" or "grunge", but I've never had a specific style, it was always a t-shirt, a top or something, but not enough to dress in a determined way. It's also complicated when you're not happy with your body. If I were happy with my body right now and had money, I would probably dress hippie. I love the style.
As for your post, I loved it. I really related to it and loved your reflection. I hope you can find a definition (if you want one) of who you are and learn to express what you like with confidence.
This is beautifully written and resonates with me a lot!! I've had a similar experience of finding who my 'people' are: whether that's a character, an aesthetic, or even people in my life. But I've similarly realised I don't need to fit into a specific box like that. That being said, I grew up idolising Padme from star wars, and I've always been obsessed with her vibe!
Thanks so much! It feels good to just be ourselves without fitting a label :)
it is so liberating to come into a feeling of selfhood. i feel like i looked obsessively for a box to fit into before realizing how much fun it is to create my own identity, taking bits and pieces of what i like. as for my thing right now, i’m really into gold!! 🤩
I agree!! You can customize your own identity with no limits <33
Current esthetic obsession is disco balls and rainbow-making-prisms in every window so that all day long I am surrounded by twinkling magic. Because why not?
Stop that sounds so wonderful 😭 Now I'm jealous
Life is hard; it might as well sparkle ✨️ 💖
100% ✨️
Love this really. That restless pull to belong, to understand myself, is such a familiar tension. (And the lit student buried in me can’t help but giggle at every little nod you make to the theorists. 🤭)
Im glad you did <3333
Love this - identity is a fundamental part of the human condition and your explorations reflect the immense challenges we’ve set ourselves as a society.
This is so real bc I spent so much of my life trying to be an aesthetic and I felt so much better when I stopped trying to put myself in a box. Like getting up and wondering 'is this outfit goth enough' is so exhausting.
this was amazing
thank you!!
It feels as though nobody is allowed to have a personality anymore, an actual personality, where you like 100 things and don't fit into neat little boxes. My Pinterest page probably wouldn't look 'cute' or 'aesthetic' to anyone else, my bedroom doesn't have a particular colour scheme, and my clothes don't really 'give' anything.
I feel this article in my soul, but I'm also secretly so jealous of people who have it all figured out, who know exactly who they are and what kind of life they fit into.
i feel that we are more than just one character, one type of aesthetic, one characteristic. we are more complex than that. for example, i have always seen myself as megara from hercules and admire the aesthetic that movie gives off. on the other hand, i see myself as a james bond classic type of woman. i also see myself as blair waldorf from gossip girl and resonate with the aesthetic of that tv show. we were not made to be just one thing. great article! :)
Thank you sara <33 We can be a mix of anything and everything at the same time!! omg I love Blair she's so iconic <33
i can’t believe i’m being quoted in an essay i am so overwhelmed with emotions… loved this. discovering that you don’t need to align with any aesthetic, and embracing being you dynamically and openly is so freeing.
your essay is one of the first essays I read on substack, of course I had to quote you <333
It feels like the act of questioning is actually part of who you are!! That constant self-awareness is a core aspect of your personality. What a beautiful thing to grow with.
That's so true!! I am in a constant state of self awareness 😭
I loved and felt this so hard <3
I'm glad <33
Thank you sooo much for writing this!!
I don’t even know when this weird obsession with putting human personalities into boxes started. Or the whole “starter pack” thing. We can be so many things, sometimes all at once, sometimes at different times, and that’s totally okay.
I used to get so frustrated because I liked bits and pieces from different aesthetics, and I never knew which one I belonged to. But screw that, I can be just ME!
As for the characters I identified with? There was Clover from Totally Spies 🥹. I’m not even blonde, lol, but I definitely had that sassy, girly, boy-obsessed personality when I was little 😂. Then it shifted; Elizabeth Bennet and Belle that when I got into literature. Honestly, there were so many, and they were all so different, I can’t even remember them all. And that’s fine.
It’s okay not to have a pattern ❤️!
Thank you for reading it <33 and omg the power of being "me" makes me feel alive😭 I love your choice of characters they all align somehow together!! <3333
I wrote almost about the same thing in my latest post! the identity crisis is real lmaooo. I can say Max Baker of Ginny and Georgia in S3 💔💔
I'll check out your post and yes its very much real!! I also kind of relate to Max in S3 😭😭 It's heartbreaking to see her like that 💔
As for my aesthetic, honestly whatever I feel like wearing in my closet...
but I would say I dress like cottagecore lacey the most idk i have to figure it out
I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes, I'm Frank Reynolds from Always Sunny, other times I'm Bruce Willis in Die Hard. Sometimes BMO, sometimes Joey Ramone, sometimes April Ludgate.
I never know who I am. Or rather, who I am changes depending on the weather and how much sleep I've gotten recently.
the sleep part is so accurate lol
As for characters, like you, I've never identified with any of them, no matter how much I wanted to. I've never been able to say "That's me," but rather "I want to be her/him."
As for clothes, I've always liked "dark academia" or "grunge", but I've never had a specific style, it was always a t-shirt, a top or something, but not enough to dress in a determined way. It's also complicated when you're not happy with your body. If I were happy with my body right now and had money, I would probably dress hippie. I love the style.
As for your post, I loved it. I really related to it and loved your reflection. I hope you can find a definition (if you want one) of who you are and learn to express what you like with confidence.
Thank you so much for sharing and I'm so happy to see others relate to it <333