The Talk That Changed Everything.

A simple truth that turned my world upside down.

During my senior year of high school in 2016, I took a trip to the beautiful city of Dubrovnik, Croatia. That trip holds one of my core memories, and it’s something I’ll always carry with me. Now, I want to share it with you, my dear reader.

After a long, exhausting day exploring the old town, I returned to the hotel for a short rest before heading back out that evening. For the first time, I decided to step out onto the balcony. It was more like a shared porch, with no barriers between rooms, overlooking the massive ocean, with just two chairs and a small coffee table in front of each balcony door.

As I took my first barefoot steps outside, the floor was shockingly cold, and the wind whipped my hair in every direction. Despite it being summer, it didn’t feel like it at all. I shivered with every step, focused only on my freezing feet. But when I finally looked up, I forgot how to breathe.

I froze.

Before me lay the open sea, waves crashing endlessly onto the shore, the sky melting from red to soft blue to purple and pink, as clouds drifted past the setting sun. Goosebumps everywhere. It was the most beautiful view I had ever seen.

I stood there alone, watching the sky change, unable to look away, staring as if it were a piece of art that would vanish into the abyss if I looked away for a second. Everything that had been weighing on me from school, grades, and college suddenly felt so small.

I felt small.

And so did all the noise in my head.

For a moment, I was completely disconnected from the world.

I saw my love in the ocean. I saw myself: my emotions, my fears, my hopes. Waves crashing one after another, always reaching, always returning. My name, Pearl, comes from the sea. It’s where I feel safest. And if you’ve read my last article, you’d know the person who gave me that name was also my safe place and named me with pride after his grandmother.

He walked out onto the balcony beside me, pulled up a chair, and sat down quietly.

My father.

He didn’t say a word at first. I broke the silence.

“I wish this moment could last forever.”

He smiled a little and said,

“It’s beautiful, but you can’t stay here forever, Pearl.”

I told him how scared I was of the future, of my exam results, of university, of life in general. He looked out at the waves and said,

“Fear is only an idea in the mind. Overcome it with another big idea.”

He always had a way of turning quotes into life lessons.

Then I confessed something deeper. “I’m scared of being alone in the future... of doing everything by myself.”

He turned to me and said,

“We give you what we can, an education, a roof, protection. But one day, all of it fades. You’ll be on your own. And it won’t be as difficult as you think. You’ll survive. You’ll adapt. Life will push you forward whether you’re ready or not.”

I thought of the ocean waves, how they’re always pushed toward the shore and pulled back. And in that moment, I realized: my father was pushing me to the edge of his reach, then leaving me there to learn how to move forward on my own.

I sat quietly, thinking about his words.

“How can anyone survive alone?” I asked.

“You won’t always have someone beside you. As your parents, we’ll be there as much as we can. But life isn’t built around guarantees. That’s why you need to be strong on your own. You have to be ready to stand, to fight, even when no one is watching.”

I was overwhelmed by the conversation, by the reality of what he was saying. I was a sixteen year old girl who always needs her dad.

Then, turning back to the horizon, he quoted his old boss, who once did the same thing while staring out at the sea. It felt like a scene from a movie.

“It’s a tough world out there.”

He met my eyes looking all serious, and added,

“And if you think this is stress... oh, you haven’t seen anything yet!”

We both burst into laughter.

That cold, windy night on the balcony, facing the seaside, side by side with my father, is a moment I’ll never forget.

---

Now, years later, I understand what he meant.

I wrote this eight years ago for one of my university classes when I was just a teenager, and my father’s words still echo in my mind. I found myself revisiting it today, now that I’m older, and partly because of a Korean drama I recently watched that reminded me of him and the sea. It’s called When Life Gives You Tangerines, and a few lines from it hit me harder than they should.

“The sea gives endlessly, even if we harvest from it all our life. To us, Dad was the sea. We all relied on him to live.”

My deep connection to the sea has always been tied to my father. He named me after its greatest hidden treasure. Now, in my mid-twenties, I realize just how much I still rely on him. When the show portrayed the father figure as a man of steel, I couldn’t help but think of my own.

The sea was my father, protecting me from the world in the deepest layers of his soul. His soul was the oyster, and I was the smallest pearl.

Another quote is:

“That day, I saw a different sun. Only after my sun—the first to light up the lonely ocean—had set forever did I realize how warm it was to be by my dad’s side.”

I, too, saw the sun differently that day. But I saw it through my father. He made me feel less alone. His presence was warm. He was the one person who stood beside me when the world walked away again and again.

The one who always hid his exhaustion and pain.

The one who never broke me with his words, always choosing them with care.

The one who would hand me his plate if I walked into the kitchen hungry.

The one who made everything feel within reach.

The one who always listened, made no request feel impossible, and always saw the potential in me.

The one who became my motivation and strength.

The one who quietly made sacrifices we’ll never know about.

The one who keeps trying to become a better father (despite already being the best.)

The one who worked hard every single day and still found time to help me and my siblings through school when we struggled.

The one who gave me the bigger blueberries and took the smaller ones for himself.

The one who loses sleep every night for his children.

The one who lit up my entire world.

The one who always bent down to tie my shoelaces, even when I was old enough to do it myself.

The one who was concerned over the smallest shifts in my tone or mood.

The one who always made me laugh.

My man of steel who saw right through me, just like the ocean does. I’m his only daughter among four sons. I am my father’s pride, and I will always try to live up to it.

I feel the warmth of my soul fade a little when he leaves the house, even for a little while. His presence is my safe space. And I think. No, I know that I’ve already won in life just by having him.

He is my whole life.

This one is for you, Dad. (I totally didn’t cry while writing this)

Dear reader, what’s the most meaningful lesson someone in your life has ever given you? I’d be honored if you shared your story in the comments.

And who is your man or woman of steel? ❤